So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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