just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
