So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
vagina is talking i cant
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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