I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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