Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
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well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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