Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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