I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We need to feng shui this bitch.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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