Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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