I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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