i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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