His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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