her facebook's as public as her vagina
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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