I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
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