Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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