around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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