Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
