Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
