why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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