to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
