Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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