I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
