it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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