The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
