Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Non-Jews are for practice
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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