So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
