how can u be prego again
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
