Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
