So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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