thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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