I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
