Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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