we need to drink 2009 down the drain
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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