I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
