So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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