a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize