I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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