i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
