Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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