Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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