boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize