I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
