So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
