you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
