the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
