All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
