Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
