fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
