I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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