he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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