I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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