New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
