All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
NoShamevember. You game?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
