If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
