So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
