dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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