Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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