There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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