Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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