last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
