i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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