I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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